Everyone Has a Story to Tell
On Saturday morning, I sat on the couch with my coffee and cried as I watched the 9/11 memorial service. I listened to each wife, brother, and grandchild tell something personal about their loved ones— who they were, what they had meant to them, and how much they were missed.
For the past 20 years I have thought often about the 3,000 people who lost their lives on that horrible day. Yet watching the memorial, I was also reminded of the tens of thousands of people who were profoundly affected by 9/11 and are still here to tell their stories. So many families and friends had to rebuild their lives, raise their children, and figure out how to move forward in the wake of losing a loved one. Did you know that there were more than 60 pregnant women who lost their spouses on that day, and ended up having babies who will never have had a chance to meet their dads? I also learned the story of the firefighter who died when the tower collapsed-- and since then his four children have all become firefighters.
Everyone has a unique story to tell.
Which has me asking: how often do we take time to think about the stories behind the people? And not just the people affected by 9/11. Everyone has a story to tell. Yours might not be as tragic or as heroic as the 9/11 stories, but you’ve had to overcome some kind of obstacle or adversity in your lifetime. (And if you haven’t yet, at some point you will.) It's then what you do with that experience (and what significance you give it) that shapes how your future will go.
What's your story?
What events or moments changed your trajectory in life? Was it a death, sickness, divorce, or some kind of profound loss? Or was it something exciting like a move to a new city, a career change, or a happy second marriage that changed how the rest of your life went from that point forward?
I have a client who recently lost 50 pounds. She was always overweight and had come to accept this about herself. But two years ago she became the full-time caregiver of her father who suffered a stroke. That's when she realized she wanted to live a healthier lifestyle than her parents did. She knew she didn't want to end up like her Dad-- and she certainly didn’t want her own son to end up being her caregiver. Right after her dad passed, she decided to take her own health seriously. She made profound changes in her food and exercise. She now feels stronger, more confident and is 50lbs lighter. She believes that her father's death gave her a new life.
Another client spent 20 years as a massage therapist and was diagnosed with cancer a year ago. After her surgery and chemotherapy, she decided to dedicate the second half of her career to providing massages for cancer patients, survivors and their caregivers. What a beautiful way to take a difficult personal experience and transform it into a total gift for others who are going through the same thing.
I share these thoughts as a reminder that we all have stories from our past. Some are great and bring wonderful memories with them. Some are sad and come packaged with tremendous grief. But all these experiences shape who we are.
If we start to become aware of people’s stories, we might learn to be more empathetic. We could ask deeper questions within our relationships. And in doing so, we could make our communities, our cities, even our country a better place… one story at a time.
This Week’s Resources
Put this on your holiday gift list
If you’ve been a fan of Bombas socks, you know from their advertising that socks are the #1 most requested clothing item in homeless shelters. Bombas donates one pair of socks for every pair purchased. From the beginning, the Bombas mission has been to contribute to the homeless community and encourage others to get involved. Their socks come in great colors and are terrific quality. With the cooler weather coming, you might also love their new Gripper Slippers! They’re soft, fuzzy on the inside, and grippy on the bottom for safety: gripper slippers
Boat Lift
On 9/11 there were many heroic people who played important roles helping strangers. What you may not have known is that 500,000 people were trapped on lower Manhattan that day, and with all the trains shut down, the only way off the island was by water. 150 different vessels, crewed by more than 800 mariners, improvised and successfully executed the mission of getting hundreds of thousands of people safely home by putting them on their own boats. To learn more about this amazing feat, check out Boat Lift, a documentary on YouTube: boat lift
Two Holes in One
Most golfers hope for a hole in one at some point in life. But how about a hole in one, followed by another hole in one— on the same day? If you haven’t seen this story about a teen’s attempt to honor his late father, you must. It’s incredible: two swings two aces
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