Just Doing the Best We Can

This is a special week. Tomorrow night, my partner Kim and I are getting married. We have been together for nineteen years. Back on August 20, 2005 we had a commitment ceremony but no “official” nuptials. Tomorrow is the big day. We are gathering a very small group of family and friends together to celebrate in what we consider a safe event given all the Covid-19 restrictions.

When I mentioned our decision to get married in the middle of a pandemic, the reactions were very mixed. I heard everything from, “Do you really think it’s a good idea to do this now?” to “What if people are not comfortable attending?” to “Good for you! I’m so over Covid. I think we should all just start getting back to normal activities and events.” This got me thinking…

Have you had an experience like this in the past six months? Where you’ve chosen to do something (or not do something) and you’re bombarded with other people’s opinions about what is “right” during this time? Understandably, everyone has their own feelings about our country’s reopening: whether schools should open in person or not, whether we should be mandated to wear masks or not… the examples or “should” or “shouldn’t” are endless. But what if we all accepted that there is no right answer?  

What if we assume that when someone is making a decision about their own next steps, they’ve taken all factors into consideration and then they’ve chosen what they think is right for themselves. What if instead of us judging or questioning people’s actions, let’s assume they’ve thoughtfully considered all their choices. If a parent chooses to keep their child home from school this fall, you could say, “That must have been a big decision. Congratulations on your choice.” And if a parent decides instead to send their child to school in the fall, you could say, “That must have been a big decision. Congratulations on your choice.”  What if we just accepted people’s actions as their own, and didn’t weigh in?

What if we trust that people are doing the best they can, given what they know during this time?