I’ll Take a Refill
“I’ll take a refill on my Manhattan.”
My sister carefully pushed her empty cocktail glass across the table to my grandmother who enthusiastically poured more liquid into it. Nicki’s cup still had a few big ice cubes. Mine didn’t— I liked mine neat. With all three of our glasses refilled, me and my sister and my grandmother were able to continue our card game.
The year was 1982.
That meant my sister was 9 years old and I was 11.
My grandmother loved babysitting us as much as we loved having her as our babysitter. And that’s because we were allowed to break a few rules when we were with her. When my parents had a date night, they’d drop us off at Gram’s house. She was fully prepared to entertain us for the evening.
Her kitchen table was always set the same way for us: The playing cards were pre-dealt for Pitch, Poker or Black Jack (dealer’s choice). At each place setting was a highball glass filled with our “Manhattans.” We knew it was Crystal Light iced tea, but Gram played it up like we had legitimate cocktails for our competitive card game.
Nighttime babysitting with Gram often included playing card games. But when she watched us in the daytime, we’d head to the local corner store for scratch tickets and Peppermint Patties. We’d get to sit on the stools at the counter and scratch our tickets with the coins Gram shared with us. If there was a winner among the many tickets she bought— and there often was— we did the logical thing: buy more scratchers and try again.
As a grown-up reading this story, you might be shocked to think that these were lessons being taught to children by a “responsible” adult babysitter. And your reaction would be reasonable.
But as kids, hanging out with my grandmother was so much fun. We absolutely knew we were doing taboo things that other kids clearly didn’t get to do (and which our own parents would never allow.) But we felt so cool with our card games, mocktails, and scratchers.
Looking back, I now understand that my grandmother was teaching us the things she was passionate about. As a retired bartender, she loved showing off her mixology skills. As someone who relished the thrill of gambling, she’d get excited to share her scratch tickets with us— especially when one of us had a winner! And as a Pitch aficionado, Gram would be so proud when one of us would save a trump card for the final hand and swoop in for the victory.
These were what we call the good ol’ days: when seatbelts weren’t a thing you needed to worry about while riding in the back of the Volkswagen Bug. Back then, we’d walk to the corner store never once worried about our safety. We could ride our bikes anywhere and play at the park for hours, unattended by any grown-up. And as long as we were on time for dinner, we were allowed to do it all again the next day.
Let’s be honest: By today’s standards, my grandmother’s babysitting ideas were terrible. I mean, Who let’s kids pretend to drink and gamble?
But back then, Gram was cool. And we wanted to be like her, vices and all.
It was a treat to go to her house for a Saturday night of fun, especially without our parents. Growing up, my folks were strict and had a lot of rules. Going to Gram’s house— and secretly breaking some of the rules— was awesome.
To all you grandparents who might be reading this (my own Mom included), don’t tell me you’ve never broken some rules with your own grandkids! When my son tells me about the things my mom allowed him to do at her house during sleepovers when he was little (staying up super late, watching PG movies, eating unlimited amounts of chips and dip before bed, and being allowed to jump all over the furniture), I have to wonder, “How is this the same woman who raised me and didn’t let me do any of those things?”
I share these funny memories with you this week for one simple reason: to encourage you (within reason) to break some rules!
Let this be the week you add more fun into your life when you experience the thrill of doing something you’re “not supposed to.” I invite you to:
Be like my 89-year-old client who has rainbow-sprinkled donuts and red wine for dinner on Friday nights.
Be the person who takes your kids (or grandkids, with permission!) out of school early to surprise them with a mid-day matinee and popcorn for lunch, which they’d probably never expect from a rule-follower like you.
Be the person who pops open a bottle of champagne, takes out the fancy glasses, and celebrates that it’s Wednesday, just because.
Be willing to take a mental health day off from work, and do something totally special just for yourself— even though you’re someone who prides yourself on NEVER taking a day off.
Once in a while, we have to remind ourselves it’s okay to break the rules.
In fact, it can be fun.
What about you? Where are you willing to let loose, bend or break a rule, or stray from your straight path?
Today I dare you to do something adventurous. Veer from your normal course of action.
My Gram would be so proud of you.
This Week’s Resources
The “Perfect Manhattan” Recipe
If you’re looking for a great Manhattan recipe, you’ll find many different opinions on this. But if you’re trying to make The Perfect Manhattan, you’re specifically looking for a cocktail that adds equal portions of sweet and dry vermouth. According to The Spruce Eats website, “regular Manhattans often lack depth and complexity—the dry vermouth gently adds both of these. The combination of sweet and dry vermouths, with the backbone of bourbon, makes for quite a silky mouth feel.” Recipe and video are here: The Perfect Manhattan (My grandmother would have loved this!)
What to Do With the Second Half of Your Life?
Many people struggle trying to find meaning and purpose after age 50. Is this you? Do you wonder what you’ll do with your life when you ‘re no longer working? There’s good news for you, according to Modern Elder Academy: Your wisdom and experience have never been more needed or important. Wait until you see this place! They offer an experience like no other for the person trying to navigate their next chapter in life: Modern Elder Academy Experience
Short & Sweet: Keep it Brief
With all the technology and distractions competing for our time and attention every day, it’s no wonder that people have a hard time keeping up with their emails, texts and social media. How do you make sure your own messaging is clear and to-the-point when you send it? How to capture— and keep— people’s attention is what the authors of Smart Brevity will teach you exactly how to do. This book is an excellent (and brief!) read.
CRN202602-3964090 Disclosure: Securities and investment advisory services offered through registered representatives of MML Investors Services, LLC, Member SIPC. The Jamrog Group is not a subsidiary of MML Investors Services, or its affiliated companies. Supervisory Office: 330 Whitney Ave. Suite 600 Holyoke, MA 01040 Telephone: (413) 539-2000. 