I’m Not the Kind of Person Who Does That
“I think you need a daily meditation practice.”
This was the advice my friend Jeff gave me five years ago. I was sharing with him how stressed I felt and how lousy my sleep was. He immediately suggested a meditation app that he found very beneficial.
“Meditation? I’m not the kind of person who meditates,” I responded immediately.
While I appreciated his guidance, I had already decided years before that I was too high-strung and too Type-A to ever have the patience to meditate. Jeff asked me to trust him and try it. (And he reminded me that he’s as high strung and Type A as me.) So I tried it.
Jeff was right.
Meditation has turned out to be one of the favorite parts of my health and wellness journey. And according to my Calm app, I have meditated 966 times, for a total of 2,974 hours, since that day.
While it’s not an every day routine for me, I try to meditate for 10 minutes, four or five times a week. Meditation grounds me. In that small block of time, creative ideas come to mind. Meditation allows my eyes to take a break. Sometimes I start the morning with a mediation to set an intention for the day ahead. Other times, I use the practice to unwind before bed.
But until Jeff’s insistence, I was a hard no for meditation.
The same holds true for journaling. For years, I actually said out loud, “I’m not the kind of person who journals” when anyone suggested it. But as time went on, I started to see similarities among people who journal: high achievers, successful entrepreneurs, people confident in who they are, what they want, and where they are going. These people make journaling a part of their routine.
In 2019, my business partner Jessica suggested that I try Bullet Journaling and bought me the book that explains the method. She said, “It’s not like regular journaling. It’s a way to help you track lists and goals and streaks. Plus you can use color, and you can doodle on the pages and make it crafty, which you love.”
Jessica was right.
I have been journaling for the past five years. Thanks to her encouragement, I’ve filled eight journals with ideas and reflections. I have had more professional and personal growth during this time than ever before in my life— and it’s all captured on those pages.
Dare I say: I now love journaling. I begin each morning writing down what I am grateful for. I track personal wins and the things I am proud of. I return to my journal at the end of the night to check things off my list and to feel a sense of focus and accomplishment. My paper journal has replaced all my post-its, as well as the miscellaneous things I used to try to remember in my head. I now have one organized place to safely capture all those things. Although I once was a hard no for it, journaling has become one of my favorite habits.
Are you feeling a little annoyed right now? Are you thinking, you’re not the kind of person who would do this? I get it.
Over and I over I have said this about so many things. I kept resisting. I was even proud for refusing to conform to popular norms, ideas or trends.
But at some point, I started to wonder, “Why are so many smart and successful people doing that thing, while I am still holding out?”
How often do we resist change, and assume, “I’m not the kind of person who does that,” without actually making the effort to try and see what might happen as a result?
After so many friends switched to a plant-based diet, I still assumed that wasn’t for me (because I love bacon, and there’s no way in I’m giving up pizza.) However, once I tried plant-based eating, I realized I could do this for 90% of my food choices and still make occasional exceptions.
I feel better, healthier, less tired, less bloated— and once in a while I treat myself to pizza.
I was also “not the kind of person” who needed an instructor on a screen telling me how to ride a stationary bike. But when I tried a Peloton bike at a hotel four years ago. I was once again humbled. And I bought a bike. I now have a 229 week streak going on my Peloton. Incidentally, my legs have never been stronger.
I was also “not the kind of person” who’d take supplements, drink herbal tea, or use essential oils. Finally tried them all— and I like them all.
I told myself for 35 years that I’m not the kind of person who listens to country music. How silly that one was! Country music now brings me so much joy!
I also believed I was not the kind of person who’d get divorced (but that happened). After my divorce, I then stubbornly declared I was not the kind of person who’d ever remarry. Yet the moment I committed and finally married Kim in 2020, my life profoundly changed for the better. ❤
Sometimes we don’t know what we don’t know. We are stubborn. We make declarations and stick to them without question.
Doesn’t that sound a little ridiculous? Especially given how committed we tell ourselves we are to our own growth and development?
I share this with you because I know you are resisting certain things… and if you tried them, what if they made you happier and healthier, or got you out of a funk, or helped you realize you may even like something new.
Are you a little uncomfortable reading this? Great! That means we’re onto something…
What’s coming to mind? What’s that thing you’ve been avoiding, resisting, or holding out on and refusing to try?
What if, starting today, you became the kind of person who simply says yes?
This Month’s Resources & Cool Ideas
Try It With a Smile
When our kids were young, we often attempted to get them to try new foods— mainly fruits and veggies. The deal was that they had to “try it with a smile” before they decided they didn’t like it. It was so funny to watch them resist liking a kiwi while also smiling. Turns out, they ended up liking way more than they (and we) expected. You could even try this for yourself! When you eat artichokes for the first time, try them with a smile. It’s less likely you’ll completely reject something while you’ve got a big grin on your face.
Family Dinner Ambiance
My friend Bailey shared with me that she started a new ritual for their family dinners. They now light candles at the table. Doing this sets the tone that their time together is special. She said the routine of actually lighting the candles somehow starts to calm everyone down, and creates a sense of peace before dinner even begins. Why wait for a romantic occasion or a holiday? Bring out the tapers or votives at your next dinner and set the stage for a whole new dining experience.
Three for Every One
My client was complaining to me last month that she and her husband are tired of the same restaurants and same take out meals, and were looking for a change. I suggested they try the “three for every one” challenge. This means that they agreed to try out three new restaurants before they return to any one of their old standby options. It’s working! She said they’ve tried Thai food, sushi, and Korean BBQ. They were never very adventurous before— but now they are excited to continue exploring new restaurant options with the three for every one approach.
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