Relationship Goals
In my book Confetti Moments, I share the story about my client Jack and his very busy life. Jack runs a successful company, serves on several boards of directors, travels extensively with his wife, and loves to spend time with his new grandson.
Jack also has an 89-year-old mother named Beatrice.
On his very packed calendar, there is a standing appointment every Sunday morning at 8:30am. That’s when Jack picks up his mom to go to 9am church in her town. She no longer drives, but Jack makes sure that this is not an obstacle when it comes to her being able to do the things she loves. Each Sunday, Jack escorts his mom to her favorite pew, assists her with all the standing, sitting and kneeling rituals, and then walks her up the center aisle to receive communion.
As you can imagine, Beatrice loves this special time with her son.
And while she appreciates the ability to go to church every week, that’s not her favorite part of the morning. After church, Jack takes her to McDonald’s drive-thru for a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit, hash browns, and a small coffee with cream. They pull into a parking space, and Beatrice listens intently while Jack updates her on all things going on in his life. This one-on-one time is a highlight of his mother’s week.
Jack has really grown to appreciate this standing date, too. He knows how much it means to his mom and wouldn’t cancel it for anything. His goal is to spend this quality time with his mom for as long as she is alive and able to do so.
My friend Janette does something similar for her dad. She lives in San Francisco and her elderly Dad lives in Denver. Despite their time difference, they have a standing phone call every Monday night at 6:30pm. Their conversation typically lasts a half hour, then her dad has to wrap it up because he religiously watches Wheel of Fortune every night at 7pm. They make this call work every single week. Even if Janette is traveling, she tries to call her dad because it matters so much to him.
What kinds of traditions do you keep in place for other people? How are you investing in your relationships? Maybe you carve out time each month for your great grandmother in the nursing home, or to bring your elderly uncle to the cemetery so he can “visit” with his wife who died years ago.
What small effort do you make on a regular basis that makes a big difference for someone else?
Not doing this? Maybe it’s time you set some relationship goals.
What if, over the course of the next month, you choose someone you care about, and dedicate more of your time and attention to that person? What if you made an investment in an old friendship, or reconnected with that cousin you haven’t seen in forever?
Mothers’ Day is coming, followed next month by Fathers’ Day. The obvious choice would be to do something special for your own parents (if you are still fortunate enough to have them in your life.) Definitely do that.
But the less obvious choice is to reach out to someone who lost a mother or a father this past year. Even more impactful could be the effort you make to reach out to someone who’s lost a child. For all these individuals, Mothers’ Day and Fathers’ Day are not celebrations. You could be one of the few people— perhaps the only— who takes the time to acknowledge their loss. This type of empathy and kindness is immeasurable.
Let’s set some relationship goals for the next month. What if you:
Picked a person and made an effort to do something special for them in the next 30 days?
Stopped and picked up a coffee for the police officer working a road detail along your drive to work?
Sent a thank-you note to someone who made a difference to you years ago and would be shocked to hear from you after such a long time?
And maybe the relationship you choose to invest in is the one you have with yourself. Perhaps you’re the one you’ve been neglecting. How do any of these ideas sound:
Take yourself to a movie, buy the large popcorn, and share it with no one.
Workout extra-long, or allow yourself to go to bed extra-early, because it would feel great to you.
Binge a series that no one else in your house wants to watch… but you do.
Maybe it’s time you did something special for someone you care for. Or for a stranger. Or even for yourself.
Are you busy? Of course you are. Are you too busy to do this? I’d ask, too busy compared to what?
Could the little extra effort you make create a gigantic impact on someone? You bet it could.
This month, my challenge for you is to choose a relationship goal. Then do whatever it takes to accomplish it.
This Month’s Resources & Cool Ideas
Celebrate all the Moments
Want to make every occasion in your home or at your office easy to acknowledge? Buy the Birthday Butler! This easy-to-use product makes decorating for every holiday or celebration so simple. It’s reusable, portable, and sharable!
Showcase Your Little Picasso
If you are like many parents or grandparents, you’ve collected a lot of children’s artwork over the years. Instead of taping it to your refrigerator or storing it a box in your basement, why not display it property with Artkive, a cool tool that allows you to frame artwork, hang it up, and switch it out anytime with ease.
Journaling Generosity
If you are trying to make an effort to connect with someone special in your life, consider buying a journal. For example, if your mother’s 80th birthday is next year, create a journal where you and other family members can write to her about how special she is. Fill up the pages with memories, then give it to her next year for a birthday gift. Know someone who’s pregnant? Give her a journal to write to her unborn baby and capture the details of her pregnancy. This little book can be something she shares with her child years down the road. Use journaling to connect with others in a special and lasting way.
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