It’s Your Lucky Day
My friend Maggie considers herself unlucky. She is also superstitious. She doesn’t like the number 13. She would avoid getting near my black cat anytime she visited my house. And she often dwells on the past: what could have been, what should have been, and all the disappointing experiences she’s had in life. It’s sometimes exhausting to spend time with her. I try talking with her about her future and I encourage her to plan for something fun like a trip or a fun night out. She’s not interested. She honestly believes that her future is going to be filled with more bad luck. She says no to most invitations. You won’t be surprised that she is single and 55 years old. She’s given up on finding a soulmate. She’s had bad luck in past relationships and thinks at this stage in life she’s better off being single.
My friend Joseph is a very successful financial advisor and considers himself lucky. He is an enthusiastic yes for any invitation: to go out for dinner to a new restaurant, or to be anyone’s +1 for a wedding even if he won’t know anyone there. Joseph is always striking up conversations with total strangers. Not surprisingly, he constantly meets new people, learns new things, and sets himself up for all kinds of interesting opportunities. His clients think he’s resourceful and has fresh ideas. He gets referrals to new clients all the time. For Joseph, life always seems to work out in his favor. And when things don’t go his way, he looks for the lesson to be learned from the experience. He regularly asks for feedback and is perpetually trying to be a better person.
Are you a Maggie, or a Joseph?
Do you consider yourself to be a lucky person? Do good things tend to happen to you? For example, do you always get the perfect parking spot? Or never worry about being late because you often hit the green lights on your commute? Does life tend to work out in your favor? If so, you probably have a pretty positive outlook on the future, too.
Or do you consider yourself an unlucky person? Maybe you’re accident-prone. You’re often disappointed by the way life unfolds because it never seems to be in your favor. You’re probably not lucky in love either— in fact, are you often disappointed in your personal relationships? And the lottery… forget it. You won’t buy scratch tickets or play the numbers because you assume with your lousy luck, you’d never win anyway, so why bother.
Many people assume they are either born lucky or unlucky, and there’s nothing they can do about their fate.
What if that’s not true?
In fact, what if I told you no one is born lucky or unlucky.
And there’s even better news: You can change your luck if it’s bad, and you can also improve upon your good luck.
Richard Wiseman, author of The Luck Factor, has studied thousands of people in order to better understand the common traits among seemingly lucky and unlucky people. He has decades’ worth of evidence that proves being lucky or being unlucky are actually in your control.
You can change your luck.
Did you know that there is an actual science to luck? Wiseman explains that how you approach life (your attitude) and the steps you take (your actions) determine how lucky or unlucky you will be.
Of the thousands of lucky people he studied, Wiseman found patterns and common traits. For example, lucky people look for chance opportunities. They tend to say yes to more invitations and events. They approach life relaxed and with less anxiety than unlucky people. Lucky people are also willing to try new foods, new experiences, attend lots of events, and regularly introduce more variety into their lives (i.e., travel to different places rather than the same familiar locations.) Lucky people are willing to break their routines (drive a different route to or from work) and believe that no matter what happens to them, life will always work out.
My friend Joseph embodies all of these traits.
On the contrary, people like Maggie who consider themselves unlucky are reluctant to take chances. They approach life worried and anxious, knowing that something bad could happen at any time. Unlucky people stick with the same routine and rarely change their patterns. They believe that switching things up might not work out for the best, so they rarely do anything different. If something bad happens to an unlucky person, they assume it’s more evidence of their bad luck. And if something good happens, they see it as an anomaly and believe that their bad luck will be back any moment.
You may see yourself as an unlucky person and want to turn your bad luck around. That is 100% possible.
Or maybe you feel lucky and would love to increase your good luck. That is also 100% possible.
Whether you want to alter bad luck or improve good luck, Wiseman suggests the following simple but impactful actions:
Say yes to more things. Show up, participate, and talk to new/more people. You increase your chances of meeting someone great, seeking out new clients, and starting new conversations that may lead to something unexpectedly terrific.
Practice talking to strangers and asking questions that spark more than a yes or no answer.
Change your routine. Try a new place for coffee. Order something new at your favorite restaurant. Try new things intentionally, even if it’s uncomfortable at first.
Have a vision for your future that is written and clear and inspiring. Review it regularly.
If you dwell on the past, it’s time to put more things onto your calendar that you can look forward to.
If something isn’t going well (your job performance, your relationship, your parenting) ask for feedback. Lucky people are always seeking feedback so they can improve themselves and their situations. Unlucky people rarely ask for feedback because they don’t see themselves or their lives ever changing
If you met Joseph, you’d think he’s outgoing and extroverted. But he’s not. He just has a lot of practice putting himself out there. He’s a nervous guy, but he meditates 10 minutes every day to reduce his nervousness and anxiety. And he writes down in his journal all the lucky things that happen to him. He’s always looking for evidence that his luck is improving. And he believes it truly is. This has done wonders for his confidence.
What if this is the week you decide to change your seemingly bad luck?
Or if you’re already lucky, now you know some of the exercise and actions that could increase your good luck even further.
I’m not saying you’ll suddenly start finding four-leaf clovers. But you may end up with the occasional perfect parking place. You never know. Today could be your lucky day.
This Week’s Resources
The Luck Factor
If you’re interested in taking a deeper dive into the science of luck, Richard Wiseman’s book is a great place to start. He’s witty and entertaining, and the examples he shares from the lucky and unlucky people he’s interviewed are fascinating. Download the Audible book here.
Need an Unusual Netflix Slow?
If you have not yet watched In and of Itself, it’s worth dedicating a couch night to it. Derek DelGaudio combines theater, magic, and emotions into this incredible performance which can be found on Hulu. It’s unlike anything I have ever seen. I’ve recommended it in a previous Wednesday Wisdom, and I think it’s worth mentioning again. The show can be found here.
Very Superstitious
Do you ever wonder about certain superstitions, and where they come from? For example, why do we knock on wood? Why is the number 13 considered unlucky? Why do some people avoid walking under ladders? People who consider themselves unlucky are often superstitious. Maybe by understanding these superstition origins, you could let some of these old beliefs go, and increase your good luck. Read more here.
CRN202605-4446212. Disclosure: Securities and investment advisory services offered through registered representatives of MML Investors Services, LLC, Member SIPC. The Jamrog Group is not a subsidiary of MML Investors Services, or its affiliated companies. Supervisory Office: 330 Whitney Ave. Suite 600 Holyoke, MA 01040 Telephone: (413) 539-2000. 