Two Weddings and a Lesson
We just attended two weddings in one week.
The first was the marriage of Jeff and Beth.* They are in their late 20’s. Both are terrific people: hard working, responsible, successful, and exactly what you’d picture when you think “young and in love.”
We arrived at the church at 3:30pm on Saturday afternoon. The setting was light and festive— not a traditional church wedding. Before taking our seats, we were asked to pause at a small table where the weddings rings sat in a bowl, and bless the rings for the bride and groom. I thought, what a beautiful ritual.
As we took our seats, people were chatting and laughing and hugging one another. The crowd was so young and vibrant. (That’s when it became clear we were the same age as the bride and groom’s parents!)
The minister presiding over the wedding was familiar with the bride and groom, and she told personal and meaningful stories about them. The ceremony was uplifting, as were their unique vows. Jeff and Beth smiled at each other the whole time and you could see the newness of the love between them. After pronouncing them husband and wife, the minister asked them to turn and face the audience, and to notice each of the people who were there to witness and support their marriage. We all clapped as they excitedly waved to us from the altar. They were blessed to have all four of their parents, as well as grandparents, in attendance.
You could just feel the love throughout the whole place.
Their reception was even more special. The venue they chose was an old yacht club that sat up on stilts in the ocean. We walked down a long dock to get there. The bride and groom soon arrived by boat to our enthusiastic cheers. The food was delicious and the band played all the current hits which kept the crowd of 125+ guests dancing for hours. Each speech— from the groomsmen, to their college friends, to the maid of honor— was heart-felt.
I loved every moment of the wedding. And I was reminded all evening of what it used to feel like to be young and in love. I left with such hope for them and for their future.
It was an honor to be part of their special event.
Five days later, we traveled to Vermont for the wedding of Laura and Ben*. Laura is 61 and Ben is 71. The age of the crowd reflected this later-in-life romance. Most of us in attendance were in our 50’s, 60’s and 70’s. And over the course of the two days, many of us had a chance to share stories with each other about the fact that we’ve been married for decades.
Laura and Ben are avid skiers and met on the slopes in Vermont. Thus a marriage at Killington Mountain made perfect sense. On Thursday afternoon, all the guests were encouraged to wear flat shoes or go barefoot. We walked up a grassy hill until we reached a plateau that showcased the most spectacular view. The fall leaves were just starting to turn yellow and orange, and we were surrounded on all sides by huge mountains.
In the middle of the field sat benches for the guests, as well as a flower-covered arch under which the groom stood next to the officiant, and a perfectly arranged place for the bride to walk up the grassy aisle.
As the music began, the bride’s 89-year-old mom was escorted to her seat with the help of her 40-year old grandson. The bride followed, looking radiant and beautiful with the sun setting behind her, and so comfy in her bare feet. No grand wedding party, no hoopla. Just the love of two people surrounded by an intimate crowd of witnesses. There was even an emotional acknowledgement of all their loved ones who had passed away, but they trusted were definitely with us in spirit.
Before the ceremony began, the officiant paused, held up the wedding rings, and asked all of us to bless them. I had never seen this ritual in all the weddings I had ever been to— yet there it was again for the second time that week.
As Laura and Ben looked at each other, you could see the comfort between them. No nerves, no worries— just comfort. After they read their vows, exchanged rings and kissed, without any prompting they both took a moment to look around and make eye contact with all 50 of the guests. They saw us, and we saw them.
You could just feel the love throughout the whole place.
Their reception was in a newly constructed barn on the property and decorated with white tiny lights. It felt so romantic. The food was great, and the band played music from the 70’s which kept the small crowd of guests dancing for hours. There were no formal speeches— just a thank you personally from Laura and Ben— followed by the most amazing array of fresh donuts in lieu of a traditional wedding cake.
The next morning, we all took a gondola ride to the top of Killington mountain, the place where they ski all winter. We admired the breath-taking view, had a Prosecco toast, and wished the bride and groom well as they headed to Italy for their honeymoon.
I loved every moment of the wedding. It reminded me what it feels like to be older, mature, comfortable, and still in love. I left feeling appreciation for my 22-year marriage to Kim, and for the comfort we still share between us after all these years. Others acknowledged the same feelings about their own spouses.
It was an honor to be part of their special event.
And I had forgotten how much I love weddings.
It’s a gift to attend a wedding and witness young love. It’s also a gift to go to a wedding and witness mature love. Both provide feelings of hope, joy and appreciation.
But please do not wait for a wedding to acknowledge your spouse or your partner and the life you share. Every so often, it’s important to remind each other what it was that brought you together originally. Try to rekindle those feelings of being young and in love.
If you’ve been together for a while, take time to recognize what it is that still keeps you together. In sickness and in health, for better or for worse, continue to make an effort to appreciate each other… just like newlyweds do.
*names have been changed.
This Month’s Resources: Fun Wedding Gifts
Oh the Places They’ll Go
For the happy couple who likes to travel, give them a personalized map from Uncommon Goods that will let them mark all the places they will travel together in life.
Commemorating the Wedding Song
Do you know if the bride and groom have been practicing their moves for their first dance together? Find out in advance what their wedding song is, then buy them a customized and framed “record” with the lyrics to their special song written in it. Lime and Lou offers different colors, styles, and price points from $75 - $200 to craft this unique keepsake.
Something Special, One Year Later
There is an old tradition that the bride and groom are supposed to freeze a piece of their wedding cake, and then thaw it and eat it on their one-year anniversary. I’ve tried this. Trust me, 12-month-old cake is not very good. However, you could do something special by shipping the bride and groom fresh baked goodies on their one year anniversary. You may be one of the few people to remember their special date, and Goldbelly’s can ship sweet treats and cakes from your favorite bakeries around the country, including Mike’s Pastry in Boston.
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